claret on my shirt 3:28 Wed Sep 9
Weirdest thing you found in your house
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Ran a bath last night (downstairs bathroom) went to get in it shutting the bathroom door behind me and there sat behind the door was about a 5 week old kitten. I have a cat so did the right thing and put the little thing in a cat basket ready to call cats protection etc and the little vicious bastard sunk its fangs in to me. Most vicious little bastard i have every come across, go near it an its up on its back legs hissing baring its teeth etc
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Replies - Newest Posts First ( Show In Chronological Order)
SecondOpinion
11:15 Thu Sep 10
Re: Weirdest thing you found in your house
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that was a good story!
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jack flash
10:40 Thu Sep 10
Re: Weirdest thing you found in your house
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When I bought my house over 30 years ago it had been unoccupied for over 3 years, so as you might imagine, it was semi-derelict
My house is in the middle of a remote forest about 5 miles from my nearest neighbours
On my first night, I went in with my brother in law, who was an electrician, to see if he could get the electric on (which he couldn't as a fuse had blown on the overhead post supplying the house)
While he was messing about with the fuse box, I went to see if I could get the water running. The house had a private water supply fed from a spring in the woods. In the increasing gloom of the December late afternoon, I found that the water from the spring wasn't running into the header tank, which had become empty. I was soon able to divert the spring so that it was filling the tank & went back to see how my brother in law was getting on with the electricity
Having realised there was nothing he could do till the line was fixed, he had got a nice fire going to light the place up as by now it was dark
I drove him home & went back with my sleeping bag to crash out in front of the fire & very soon nodded off
I awoke, with a jolt, about midnight, with just the light of the fire, to the sound of a door banging upstairs. With the light of the little torch I had I decided to investigate. When I went upstairs, I found that indeed, a bedroom door had slammed shut. Quite easy to explain, as of the windows would not shut properly!
I went back downstairs to the fire & had not long drifted off again when I woke to what sounded like angels voices singing in a choir. I was listening intently trying to work out wat it was when I heard another, more threatening sound
It sounded like footsteps in the next room (the kitchen) I picked up the poker from the fireside & with the little torch I had I started to creep through quietly into the kitchen
What a shock!
The walls appeared to be dripping with blood
The "footsteps" I heard was the steady dripping into the increasingly growing red pool on the kitchen floor
Then the penny dropped! Having got the water flowing through the pipes (the angels voices noises) the header tank in the bathroom (full of red rust) had filled & started to feed through the hot supply where a pipe joint had sprung apart (during one of the severe winters when the house was unoccupied) & allowed the red-stained water to run out through the floorboards down the walls & into the kitchen
Mystery explained!
Now several weeks later, we were replacing the old rotten wooden sash windows, when I found a small silver crucifix under the window
Then another, under the next window. In fact, there was one under every window
I don't know if was common practice to put crosses under each window when the house was built (c1800) but I wasn't going to take any chances
I put every one back where I found it!
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BarkingMadHammer
6:19 Thu Sep 10
Re: Weirdest thing you found in your house
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No matter how much money I throw at my house, it still wants fucking more !
I found my house to be a selfish greedy, unrelenting money pit . . .
but does have a lovely patio
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busheyhammer85
6:06 Thu Sep 10
Re: Weirdest thing you found in your house
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Has anyone mentioned the ghostly jam story? Haha!!!
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JONESY
6:00 Thu Sep 10
Re: Weirdest thing you found in your house
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thought about turning it into a pub/bar
didn't need more rooms as was big house, and decided the garden was for the kids.
have sold house this year and didn't even mention it to buyers.
maybe one day they'll be on some forum telling a story about a 3 room bunker they've unearthed in their garden.
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Honest Hammer
11:09 Wed Sep 9
Re: Weirdest thing you found in your house
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Jonesy you should have put a skylight in it and used it as a den, like a small extension without having to build it or fuck about with planning permission.
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SecondOpinion
8:08 Wed Sep 9
Re: Weirdest thing you found in your house
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Spandex Sidney 7:36 Wed Sep 9
Re: Weirdest thing you found in your house
Remember the camel toe in the playground one?! Who the FUCK started that? Please don't tell me Milhouse/'Arcelona!
Northern Sold
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andyd12345
8:02 Wed Sep 9
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Jonesy, why would you concrete over it?! Could you have some electricity and radiators down there, decorated it with some wallpaper and carpet and had it as some sort of outhouse?! 3 big room etc, would have added a fortune to the value of the house, surely!?
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bruuuno
7:40 Wed Sep 9
Re: Weirdest thing you found in your house
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nothing so kinky toe rag just an old pair of daisys for work. Made my day it did
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Spandex Sidney
7:36 Wed Sep 9
Re: Weirdest thing you found in your house
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WHAT ABOUT A PYRAMIDAL ARRANGEMENT OF 70'S JAM JARS IN THE ATTIC WITH A CRUCIFIX HANGING OFF THEM?!
I fucking loved threads like that. Remember the camel toe in the playground one?! Who the FUCK started that? Please don't tell me Milhouse/'Arcelona!
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Toe Rag
7:35 Wed Sep 9
Re: Weirdest thing you found in your house
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Wellingtons?
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bruuuno
7:34 Wed Sep 9
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I'venever found anything particularly weird in my house but I did have a french girl stay over once who nicked my boots.
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young woody
6:31 Wed Sep 9
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JONESY 5:53 Wed Sep 9
Thats awesome.
Still there now?
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White Pony
6:18 Wed Sep 9
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I found a box in the attic with a projector and some old Super 8 home movie reels that turned out to be snuff movies.
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JONESY
6:06 Wed Sep 9
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I lived coupla miles from biggin hill airport, where RAF were based, so wondered if it was a big cheese that lived there.
it kinda was a bit of history and was pretty interesting for a few hours....
then re concreted lid and had artificial lawn on top of the cunt.
it's all still there intact now.
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Russ of the BML
6:03 Wed Sep 9
Re: Weirdest thing you found in your house
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Our friends once stayed at our house on a blow up bed in the lounge. When we went downstairs the fella woke up and had a big fat slug on his chest. He jumped so fucking high he was almosy swinging on the lights.
Laughed so much I almost had to go to A&E through lack of oxygen.
We traced a trail from the duvet, through the lounge, through the kitchen, into conservatory and out the back door. Poor fucker took all night to get in bed with my our friends and probably as soon as he got comfy we chucked him back out.
Still laugh about it today.
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Grumpster
6:02 Wed Sep 9
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Actually sounds quality that JONESY, I would have loved that.
Proper history.
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Toe Rag
6:00 Wed Sep 9
Re: Weirdest thing you found in your house
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Interesting that one JONESY.
I think it was it the SOE who set up bunkers all round the country for small cells to pop up behind German lines in the event that we were occupied to conduct sabotage missions against the huns.
Very very top secret stuff at the time. I remember the history boffins getting tumescent when someone found one of the bunkers in their back gardens.
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Russ of the BML
5:59 Wed Sep 9
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LJC 3:34 Wed Sep 9
LOL!
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joe royal
5:58 Wed Sep 9
Re: Weirdest thing you found in your house
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While stripping a wall written on the plaster was
"I hate fucking decorating"
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JONESY
5:58 Wed Sep 9
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hahaha
I've since moved house
but the kids are still there
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